Breaking the chain

Forget blame and media bullying. Compassion and education are what's needed to help "Tellytubby" family

SOMETIMES when you watch the X Factor, you feel uncomfortable.

Not so uncomfortable you look away, mind - just broadly troubled that people who, as my mum would say, are not quite the full shilling, are openly mocked, laughed at even, by a pop princess and a multi-millionaire who made much of his cash off Robson and Jerome.

One such contestant, who nearly had me reaching for the off button was Emma Chawner, an overweight teenager in a hotch-potch of a bridesmaid's dress, whom Cowell decided 'sang like a baby.' Except George Dawes looks better.

Then in marched her family. Oh my God, they were as fat and feckless as she was. A nation watched open-mouthed as in they harrumphed, sticking up for their not so little girl and making twisted TV gold as they did so.

Jodie Prenger to win I'd Do Anything!

ACCORDING to Barbara Windsor, on Saturday's show, Nancy should be brash yet vulnerable, gutsy and loveable - and who else would an audience warm to than Jodie?
As I start my own "weight loss journey" (I would say pass the sick bag as this sounds a bit cheesy, but well that could be construed as a bit, erm sick on a blog that touches on an eating disorder) I don't admitting Jodie is an inspiration.

So there. A nation of fatties will vote for her and even if she comes second, she will get the provincial tour and then us fatties don't have to go so far to see here belt her heart out. Gawd bless her, etc.

(I don't like the Olivers though - I think they think they are auditioning for Little Lord Fauntleroy.)

I've been yelling at the telly again

IT never fails..."She never went away!" I shout.
What could it be that makes me raise my voice, me being such a peace loving soul?
Why, that bloody WeightWatchers* advert of course.
"The woman I married is back?" Well perhaps if you'd treated her better in the first place, she wouldn't have sought solace in the biscuit barrel.

* And yes it is now ten years since I lost four stone with WeightWatchers. It has all gone back on, plus another two for good measure.

Cook yourself thin? Are you having a laugh?

Why are TV diet shows so irritating, patronising or downright bizarre?

Tonight sees a new show on Channel Four where a team of ‘shapely’ chefs show a chubster how to cook her favourite dishes (apple crumble and roast dinners by all accounts.) Yeah right. I once read a hilarious tip in a women’s weekly magazine that said you could still “enjoy” Mexican cuisine if you were watching your weight – so long as you ditched the potato wedges, tortillas, fried beans, sour cream and guacamole – call me old fashioned – but aren’t those bits all the fun? I’m not holding my breath about this show.

I’m a died in the wool fattie and a keen watcher of every diet programme going – I was truly horrified by last night’s Slim to Win with Rosemary Conley as it was little more than a direct plug for her company – complete with a 'team of experts’ from her magazine and a shouty narrator who sounded like she was burning up more calories than those taking part. It was just, well strange. Anyone in any doubt as to where the inspiration for FatFighters’ Marjorie Dawes or the frankly terrifying Carol in Fat Friends may have come from will have had their eyes opened!

But at least there was something to laugh at – the legacy of Gillian McKeith. A 24-stone bloke had his nuts and seeds confiscated. “But I thought they were good fats!” he protested weakly as Rosemary carted away tubs full…

You and me both, mate, you and me both.