THAT'S the good news. It has been 11 years in the making.
The bad news is I haven't been able to step on the scales in weeks as I have been beside myself with stress over various things - this yet again includes close family illness.
But I took a deep breath the day before yesterday and on I strode. I'd convinced myself I'd put on every last pound I'd lost.
So I was bloody well cock-a-hoop to find I hadn't. I don't want to say how much exactly I had put back on but let's just say a couple of weeks of healthy eating and even some exercise will soon put me straight.
I wouldn't shop for jeans in a million years. But a couple of weeks back I got a phone call out of the blue from an editor at a paper where I'd filed some copy about my "weight loss journey".
They still loved the story, but they hated the pics she said.
Oh ******** hell I thought - but sort of simpered instead.
And so it was that I had my photo taken again. Last time I was surrounded by cake and KitKats, this time they had me jumping in and out of bushes.
It took three grown women to get me into a pair of white jeans and to haul me off the ground (where I was doing a sort of wonky star shape) to have my picture taken for the 1,000th time by a photographer whose people skills were akin to Dr Crippen's.
Still, the make up lady and stylist were bloody marvellous. They told me all about the stars they'd worked with, name-dropping as easily as I jump the queue at Greggs.
"Joan Collins, Marie Helvin, Barbara Windsor..." beamed the beautiful stylist.
She didn't seem too impressed when I breathlessly asked her if she'd worked with Sue Cleaver - that's Eileen from Corrie - in case you were wondering. And no she hadn't in case you were wondering that too. What a let-down. Joan Collins? Pah.
But then she said I could keep one of the pairs of jeans she'd brought with her! (Not the white ones that would have been torture.) She'd told me they were a size 16 - a lovely, kind strategy to make me feel good - but they are an 18. That'll do for me - when you think that this time last year I would have struggled to get in a 22.
Anyway, all this excitement means I'm back to eating healthily and hoping to get some exercise over the weekend.
I should also add that when I stepped on our new Wii Fit board last week, it said on the screen no coach parties were allowed.
There I go again, making light of things. Of course it didn't say that. It might as well have, or flashed up "You fat bastard" as it decided whether I was a healthy weight, overweight or obese.
It also decided to test my balance.
Well that was just too much and I fell off.
Then it worked out my "fitness age".
I'm 70 apparently.
Lovely. I hope I can reach 69 by next week.
Yep. "Don't we all love", I hear you cry.
Love it - well done!
White jeans too. Never thought about white jeans due to clumsy nature and that I'd end up covering them in filth.
I'm currently testing the EA Personal Trainer for Wii and it keeps telling me rather Disney like that I'm doing AWESOME and GOOOD JAWWWWB. You'd like it ... you'd swear at it.
Posted by: Laura Driver | July 03, 2009 at 07:59 PM
Hello you thank you - they have sent me one too - not been unwrapped yet but am gonna write about it, though the sight of my 'mii' spreading out as it clocked my weight has guven me nightmares...:)
Posted by: Linda | July 03, 2009 at 08:12 PM
Ooh, that's inspiring, well done Linda.
Sorry to hear you're still going through the stress of a close family member being ill, glad you're looking after yourself though.
And free clothes! Yay :)
Posted by: Diane | July 03, 2009 at 09:45 PM
Sorry to hear you are having a tough time with the family at the moment and well done for this blog! It is a great inspiration. I have added you to my blogroll :)
Posted by: Happy Mum | July 03, 2009 at 10:02 PM
Hi Diane - thank you, you are always so lovely!
Hi Peggy - thank you - you are very kind, I don't know how much of an inspiration my ups and downs can be - ask me again when I've lost the weight - could be a while judging by progress so far. x
Posted by: Linda | July 03, 2009 at 10:28 PM
Very amusing piece of writing and sorry to hear that a family member is ill.
Posted by: Kate | July 06, 2009 at 09:02 AM
Hi Kate - thank you and things are looking much brighter...touch wood.
Posted by: Linda | July 06, 2009 at 09:15 AM
OK, stupid question time but how do I follow your blog?
Posted by: notSupermum | July 06, 2009 at 12:32 PM
Very sorry to hear about the family health issues, Linda. This is going to sound really, really naff, but have you ever had your colours 'done'? I know it's a bit 80s but it made a big difference to me and really lifts your spirits if you are wearing the 'right' colours. You look fantastic in that turquoise top - everyone has said so. Okay, now tell me to p**s off xx
Posted by: Dulwich Divorcee | July 15, 2009 at 10:26 AM
Hello, thank you! I would like to have my colours done, honest - I wear the fat woman's, black, black and more balck uniform at the moment.
Posted by: Linda | July 22, 2009 at 08:38 PM