Back to binge eating and wondering why

THIS week,I've been back on the bingeing. Last night I must have consumed enough calories to nourish a family of four – including sugar-laden, fat-packed snacks. In between cooking my family’s very healthy tea and reading my daughters a bedtime story, I stood in my kitchen and ate four Kit Kats, three packets of crisps and other such crap until I could eat no more. Then I cried. Unlike someone with a different (and arguably more accepted) eating disorder, I didn’t then make myself sick. Instead, today here I am feeling like shit, still crying a little, and wondering how to ‘get back on track’.

Please don't feel too sorry for me. While the negative voice in my head says I should be beating myself up, the rest of me is screaming - 'don't do it' - just get a grip and carry on.

Comments

[Louise]

So you slipped up. It's not the end of the world. Remember how much you have achieved over the last few weeks and say "ok, I had an off day" but today I start afresh and carry on with the progress I have made so far. Don't beat yourself up, just climb back on board.

[Joanne Mallon]

Oh Linda, don't let it get you down. Everybody has off days.

What's your theory on why? What were the clues, earlier in the day? What else was going on? Don't feel you have to answer on here, but maybe if you can see where this has come from you'll start to feel more in control and able to do something different next time.

[Linda]

Thanks both, I'm feeling much better today - one of the things that was troubling me is that I'm going to a party tonight where I'll see people I haven't seen for years.

The last time this happened, someone told me they didn't recognise me as I had put so much weight on, which really uspet me.

But I'm okay about it now, we are all going and I know that most people there will be telling me how lovely my girls are, not bothered that their mum has got fat! I was also pissed off because each morning when I have been swimming I was day dreaming about the mums at the school gates noticing I had lost weight and no bugger did!

That is really stupid, to worry over something like that! Oh well. But most of all I think I was just a bit tired and stressed, going back to school has been a bit draining and stuff at work was playing on my mind a bit.

[JS]

Louise is right! I know you're not going to continue beating yourself up because you're too sensible - what we have to remember is that a relapse is almost guaranteed in any successful weight loss programme - and the trick is to manage the relapses, not be defeated by them.

I know from bitter personal experience that's easier said than done - but we found that incredible strength from somewhere, so we can find it again.

[Linda]

Thanks, to be honest the overeating has continued for a few days now. Tomorrow (Monday morning) is a new start. I honestly think jumping on the scales every week puts me in a mindset that relies too much on weight loss 'showing up' there, so I've decided I think I would like to just get back to eating well (as in healthily) and exercising and weigh myself at the end of the month, rather than every week.

[JS]

I've stopped weighing myself altogether now - my fancy WW digital scales are hopelessly unreliable anyway. I'm measuring my waist now instead. No movement inwards this week, but it has stopped expanding!

[Linda]

I know my scales are a few pounds under anyway - they were a £10 job from a supermarket I think, years back! The WW ones always looked too scary - as in accurate.