The elephant in the room

I STARTED today in tears. Before I'd even got up, I was weeping and wailing about what a 'failure' I am because my size 18 trousers are so bloody tight. Not that I wear them in bed of course.
Neil said all the right things, bless him. First he assured me that he loved me, that the kids loved me and that I was still me and I shouldn't get so upset.
Then as I continued to snivel, he told me to relax and calm down. Which was fair enough. So I got up and cooked some bacon. In fact I also cooked some Sainsbury's Taste the Difference sausages - and bloody lovely they were too.